No way out, Part 1
Posted on Sun Nov 19th, 2023 @ 11:36pm by Ensign Zoya Solwick & Ensign Ronan Elsher
4,289 words; about a 21 minute read
Mission:
Mission 5: The Price of Paradise
Location: Betazed
Timeline: M5 MD01 (2268.07.13) 1700
Location: Betazed
Zoya did not believe that her family had a recall to date his age just after graduating the academy. She really hated the pull that the Solwick legacy had on Starfleet. For the moment though there was not much she could do about it. Zoya decided she was going to make the most of this forced vacation. She went down to one of the beaches wearing a Bikini and a pullover cloth that covered the lower half of her bikini she is wearing a two-piece. She started to walk down the beach thinking about the fact that her family had called her here to get married yet again. They tried this to right before the academy and at the Academy now they're doing after the academy, if she had her way she would pushing this off as long as possible. She already knew she wasn't compatible, but her family didn't believe her.
Ronan had been furious when his family had insisted that he once again drop everything to come and get married to the woman they had promised him to. He wasn’t any more interested in marriage than he had been before. He liked his life the way it was.
He had just changed into swim shorts and pulled on a men’s muscle shirt and headed down to the beach. He thought about looking for a volleyball game or taking a swim but he really just wanted to walk and be alone worth his thoughts. As he walked, he looked off onto the water and stopped to watch a bird as it landed in the water. Hearing a noise, he looked up and saw her coming towards him.
Zoya had not noticed that she was approaching Ronan. Her mind was a thousand miles away, and she was just staring at the waves as she continued down the beach, every so often the ways would touch her toes as they retreated back into the water. She slowly continue to head towards him not realizing it, thinking to herself how in the hell can she get herself out of this marriage.
Ronan groaned inwardly when he saw her. He had taken this walk to get away from his family and their constant nagging him about their arrangement.
Ronan kept walking as if he didn't see her, passing by her without glancing over. He felt a twinge of guilt that he ignored her but he was afraid he would say something in anger that was more directed toward his family than her.
Zoya continued to walk down the beach, she almost ran into him. Zoya and Ronan made eye contact, but they both continued to walk past one another, without saying a word to each other. She could sense that he wanted to be left alone. And her feelings were clear too. She too wanted to be left alone.
Roman stopped at the water’s edge and stripped off this shirt. He walked into the water until he was deep enough and then started swimming, making laps back and forth.
Slowly Ronan felt the tension roll off him. He was feeling much better about this marriage. He would simply explain that he wasn’t looking for a wife and they would have to accept
Zoya continued to walk along the shoreline. She was grateful for this moment in her life. She knew this was the calm before the storm.
Zoya could hear the waves crashing against the shoreline, as the water pulled to the shore and then back out to the ocean.
A small sense of calm healing rushed over her. For the moment everything seems peaceful, she knew it wouldn't last though. However she was going to take full advantage of this moment.
Zoya can see other people around the beach, but she again somehow missed seeing Ronan probably because at the time he was in the water and she was just checking the shoreline.
She happened to observe a betazed couple walking down the shoreline not too far from her she can sense their love and their joy for one another. He wondered if she would ever feel something like that? She was being forced into arranged marriage but he didn't feel any connection last night, she also knew she didn't give him a chance. Even if she wanted you she felt like she couldn't because if she did then her parents would win the fight. Her resentment towards them was clouding her judgement.
Ronan swam until he was exhausted and walked out of the water. He picked up the towel and dried himself off. Grabbing his shirt he pulled it over his head and then looked for a place to sit down.
Finding a rocky area where he could be alone he sat down on a boulder and looked into the water. Ronan wondered how his parents felt when they were faced with marriage and then he laughed to himself. They always did what was expected of them and never questioned anything. Unlike Ronan, who was like a rebel and entered Starfleet, following his own path.
Zoya would not have known, but her and Ronan, were more like than either one to believe. He continued walking through the shoreline oblivious to the fact that he was sitting on the rocks.
She was trying to imagine how miserable she would be if she actually had to marry him, not even thinking that maybe she should trust the process. He knew what her parents wanted she knew what his parents wanted but she knew what she wanted and it wasn't him.
Ronan picked up a stone and after turning it over and over he threw it, watching it skip several times across the water. It seemed like a million years ago that getting a stone to skip had been his biggest worry.
Ronan didn’t know what he was going to do but he wasn’t going to be stuck living a lie by marrying Zoya. They would be miserable and eventually they might even hate each other. It was better to make their parents see that this was not what what they wanted.
Zoya continue to walk down the beach shoreline. She just found herself observing the young couple that were radiating their love for one another so clearly that everybody could feel it around them. If you wondered what that would have felt like for her son, feeling there emotional connection was pretty intoxicating. She did wonder what that kind of love felt like, but she was still young and she knew it. She knew in time she would potentially have that opportunity. But she needed her parents to stop trying to forward some marriage she didn't want on her.
The more she thought about it, this Saturday the realization became that there is no way to get out of this. Now without being discredited from her family and potentially harming her family's legacy. When she came to that conclusion she then look for ways to get out of this marriage in her mind, but pretty soon she realized she probably should look it up the legal definitions. But she would have to go to a computer terminal to look at that kind of information.
Ronan stood up and sighed. Who was he fooling? He could come up with a million logical reasons and his family would have an answer for every single one of them. Ronan knew that his marrying a Solwick would change things for his family in ways they couldn’t even imagine.
He couldn’t be mad at his parents as much as he wanted to be. They had cemented his future with a family that had a lot of power and a good solid name. They wanted him to have a future they only dreamed about. The problem was Ronan had tasted love once and it had left him bitter. He never wanted to experience the betrayal, hurt and loss that he had felt before. It wasn’t worth the pain.
Zoya knew that she need to head back soon to her parents. Her little girl would be there waiting for her, and she didn't want her parents trying to overstep their bounds as they did with her. Zoya just didn't want to go home, she knew she was running. She also knew that it was only a matter of time before she had to go back. The beach was peaceful and quiet. Even though the moment was nice she knew it wasn't real and she was on borrowed time, so with that in mind she started to head towards the rocky shoreline, she was looking for the trail.
Zoya started to sense another present around her. Like her the person was obviously feeling down, which made her said she wondered why they were so down.
Zoya started to look around if you continue to head to the trail, and that's when she noticed him. "Did our parents send you?" Zoya asked, she was annoyed that he was there at the beach. She made the assumption that he had to been there to get her.
“No.” Ronan replied, looking directly at her. “If they had I wouldn’t have done it. I was trying to get some perspective on our situation and clear my head. I don’t know about yours but my parents are adamant that we will get married.”
"the same, right now they have our daughter. Which allowed me go to the beach to try to calm down." Zoya said that she decided to stop and talk to him for a minute, she wants to know exactly what was going on before she headed back into the storm. If he didn't want to get married and she didn't want to get her anything why were their parents still forcing just a political game really that necessary make two people unhappy.
"I have tried reasoning with them." Ronan told her. "Countered there demands and nothing is working. Short of just leaving I don't know what to do."
"Don't count on Starfleet to get you out of this either. They don't get involved in the internal fares of the Betazed culture." Zoya started to say, knowing that nobody was going to come to their aid.
She took a moment before continuing on. "How can they see that this archaic system is just ludicrous. Why should we be forced to marry one another when we don't know each other." Zoya ask him hoping he has some valid reason why they should even consider this. She could not think of one, but then again never mind was already set before thinking no way in hell. He'd even allow herself the opportunity to even considered the possibility of being married against her will.
"Starfleet won't go against the influence of your family. Ronan agreed. "That isn't even a way to think about. What we need to do is outsmart them and give us time to get out of this."
"How do we outsmart an archaic and barbaric practice that has been going on for centuries without being disgraced or harming our families legacies?" Zoya asked, wondering what type of plan he had. He was the smartass that said lets out smart them. She could not wait to see what he came up with.
“What if we showed them how wrong they are.” Ronan suggested. “Ask them for a delay in getting married and we prove to them we aren’t compatible.”
"We tried that last time, but they did not believe us." Zoya said. She was younger then, and grieving. So it really had no chance for success. She was not sure if they would this time around. She did not have a connection with him, or so she thought.
“This time we have more time to prove them wrong.” Ronan spoke up. “Like a fake engagement.”
"We need to make them see it was their idea, let them think they had won." Zoya pointed out to Ronan.
“So let’s fake an interest.” Ronan suggested. “Make it look like we’re giving in and then tell them we prefer an engagement first.”
"They will see through that, I think we should try to trick them. Reluctantly say yes to an engagement of one year. What do you think?" Zoya asked, thinking one year was a bit long. But they needed to make it believable.
Since this was exactly what Ronan had suggested he nodded in agreement. “I am all for it.” He smiled. “It will give me more time with Suki.”
"I apologize if you didn't think I was going to let you see her, I know she needs her daddy." Zoya said feeling a little guilty.
“I never thought that.” Ronan replied. “You are not that kind of mother. It is just hard to be separated, even for small amounts of time.”
"oh I see what you're saying, I didn't consider the fact that we do this that could potentially hurt Suki." Zoya said feeling a little guilty, she couldn't do that to her daughter. "This really sucks." She flat outside with a moment of sincerity and clarity in her voice.
“We miss each other.” Ronan said quietly. “And it’s hard for her because she wants us to be a family all the time.” He paused. “I know that isn’t in the cards for either of us but I will try to be stationed near you.”
"Do we owe it to Suki to try? Give it one year to see if there's any spark or chemistry, and then get married or call it off with our parents blessing. God I can't believe I'm saying that, but Suki is worth it. Feels like I'm using her as a clutch, I hate that feeling." Zoya started to explain to Ronan. She was curious how he comes about this.
“I think we do.” Ronan nodded. “She deserves a family if we can give her one. And at least we will be able to say that we tried.”
"I know this is the right call, why does it feel so forced?" Zoya ask, hoping that maybe he would have some kind of insight into how to make this easier on both of them.
“Because it isn’t our choice for us.” Ronan said. “It is for Suki. She is the only reason we are going ahead with it.”
"I think we can agree we should probably talk to her." Zoya said she hope he came to the same conclusion.
“Yes.” Ronan said with a nod. “This affects her as much as it does us.” He looked at Zoya. “I am surprised we got here but I think it’s the right way to go.”
"me too." She said what's a big humbling smile on her face, she never seen this side of him before. She liked it.
“Once I let go of all the reasons it would never work and started putting her first it just fell into place, you know.” Ronan guessed he had never really looked at her before or realized behind all that sadness and anger was someone he would like to know.
"plus you had every right to be mad at me. I honestly believe we were both using each other, that wasn't fair to either of us." Zoya admitted, thinking of time that she is the face to sad reality of what was there once relationship. It was pretty vital, and not because of their own circumstances but because of their actions. They chose activate they did realizing that they could hurt the other.
Because of her actions she felt really guilty about how she treated him. Which made her want to keep her distance even more.
“Then you should be mad at me as well.” Ronan spoke quietly. “I had gone through a rough time and honestly I knew what I was doing was wrong I just couldn’t stop myself.”
"I can not believe I behaved like I did. I'm sorry." She said, man that felt good to say, she thought to herself.
"I am sorry as well." Ronan said in return. "I have felt bad ever since."
Zoya wish she could have said that, but in all honesty, she only now felt bad. She wanted to reach out to hug him, but they were not that close. So she kept her distance. "Do you want to go back now?" She asked, thinking to herself, that she did not want to go.
“Not yet.” Ronan said. “It feels good to talk and say the things I thought I never could. I am not ready to be among all of them.” He was afraid they would somehow spoil it.
Zoya nodded her head in agreement, as she sat right next to him on the rocks. He hoped that was okay. As she sat down, she looked out to the ocean, and watched the waves. "Good, I want to sit here for a moment and watch the waves."
“I have always thought this to be the most beautiful place in the universe.” Ronan said. “I always wanted to join Starfleet and see the universe but it’s nice to come back home and things are still the same.”
"Pretty deep Ronan. I was just trying to say, that I'd rather be here with you when he's rocks and then facing our parents. At least we have common ground and I'm not referring to Suki. However with all that said yes the beach is a Betazed are probably some of the most beautiful I've ever seen." Zoya said as she continue to look at the waves.
“It is a perfect place for us to start.” Ronan said quietly as he turned and looked in her eyes. “The sunset holds promise for tomorrow and It gives me hope that we have both committed to trying.”
"Are you trying to sleep me off my feet Ronan?" Zoya asked a little defensive. She wasn't closed down to the idea but she was still pretty apprehensive. She could send at the surface level that he was being sincere but she wasn't going to probe his mind without his permission.
“I am just putting myself out there.” Ronan said. “Without having reservations holding me back. I want to go forward as I promised you.”
"I appreciate that but we are Betazed's and you know, I have the ability just to scan each other's thoughts and to trust one another. But I don't know if I'm ready to let you into my mind if we're being honest, because I don't know if I like what I see about me or I'll see about you and I dont like." She said, not wanting to ruin the moment. But she knew that something would have to share their minds if they were going to try to make this work that was part of the bonding experience.
“I don’t think it is something we should consider today.” Ronan replied. “We are just coming to terms with the decision we have made and I feel like we need to let a little time pass and both of us be certain that we are comfortable with it.”
"Prehaps you're right, it makes a lot of sense." Zoya said as she looked at him for a moment and then back at the ways again, he wasn't attractive man at least her child would be cute got their genetics from both of their parents. Looks didn't really bother her too much, but given the fact that he was a gorgeous man it made it sure a lot easier to look at him.
“Let’s just relax and enjoy the moments we have.” Ronan said. “And I think from this moment on we need to be together. That way our families will not be tag teaming us.”
"You mean on the same page, I agree I think we should." Zoya said that she stops staring at the waves and then look at him.
“I meant stay together.” Ronan said as he turned and looked in her eyes. “I don’t trust them.”
"That's not a fair thing to say. They are doing what they believe is right. Its culture vs society. We have learned in Starfleet that its possible to choose for yourself. While they annoy me, and refuse to hear me. I still trust they are doing what they feel is in our best interests."
“I meant I don’t trust them to try and undermine us into a marriage right now.” Ronan explained. “I know they want what’s best for us.”
"I don't mean this meanly, but you are not what I expected. That does not mean I want to marry you or date you at this time." Zoya said to him. But he was tolerable as of right now. About an hour ago, she would have said he would not have been tolerable.
“I take no offense.” Ronan murmured. “You aren’t at all what I expected either. I thought you’d be yelling at me and blaming me and if that didn’t work the tears would come.”
"Tears?" Zoya asked, wondering what she really that mean to him, in the past? She didn't want to think she was but she did remember that both of them fought a lot. It was a pretty toxic situation for both of them. Now though, things are settled down and they're both a little more mature and have a child together, maybe he wasn't as bad as she thought he was or maybe this is just the honeymoon. Right before the fighting begins again. She wasn't sure but, she hope deep down that maybe she had misread him the first time.
“I have some fall out from my broken relationship.” Ronan confessed. “She was the only serious girlfriend I had and she turned on the tears when things didn’t go her way.”
"Did we have any good time?" Zoya wondered. They must have, they had Suki.
“It was good.” Ronan said quietly. “But I was over shadowed by the wrong reasons. I know we can’t forget it but maybe if we talk about it then it will diminish the bad feelings.”
Zoya did not remember it that way. She was very resentful. She never wanted to give him a chance. The only enjoyable part for her was the hate sex. That was stimulating a few years back. Today she did not feel that way. She hoped he understood that.
"I guess we will have to cherrish your memories for the good times." Zoya suggested to him, as she continued to look at him. But she could hear the waves crashing on the shore, as they continued to sit on the rocks.
Ronan stared out onto the water. “It isn’t like I have good memories.” Ronan said. “The sec itself was good, the way we got there wasn’t. I haven’t for one moment forgiven myself. It gives me no satisfaction to know I used you.”
"We used each other." Zoya said, as she joined Ronan in starring at the waves. She hated to admit, that she used him. But it brought some solace knowing he used her too. But then at the same time it annoyed her. She did not like the idea being used.
“It doesn’t make me feel any better.” Roman sighed. “I don’t want to be that person.”
Zoya nodded in agreement. She too did not like the way it made her feel as well. At the moment, no words were needed. Her emotional state, should have said to him, how she was feeling.
"Talking about it is good." Ronan said."I felt angry and disappointed and I just wanted to feel again for a little while."
"And how do you feel now?" Zoya asked, she felt confused, sad, and like a low life.
“I still hate what I did.” Ronan confessed but I feel like it’s possible to help let it go if we make new memories as a family with our daughter.”
Zoya took his hand for a brief moment, letting him know that it was okay. "If it make you feel better I forgive you, I just hope someday I can forgive myself for what I've done but I hope and mean I need to forgive me for what I've done." She said if she stook her hand off of his.
"I forgive you as well." Ronan said sincerely. "We were both in bad places."
"I think we both have gone out of that place, we just need to find our way again, I think you'll be best for us and best for Suki." Zoya said with the big smile on her face.
“I couldn’t agree more.” Ronan nodded. “We have accomplished more than I thought we could.”
"Me too, before today I didn't realize you could be nice to me." In reality she knew he could, but but she was really saying is she didn't realize she could be nice to him, after everything that she had done to him she didn't realize that she could forgive herself enough to be nice to him.
“I was hiding behind a mask of guilt.” Ronan confessed. “It will take some time for both of us to move on.”
"I think we've taken a first good step." Zoya said that she started to look back towards the ocean as a scene starts to fade away.
"Indeed." Ronan said as he stared out and thought about the future.
OCC: I use the same dates since I am not sure what the dates will be for mission 5
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